Ian Gallagher

#85 FURIOUS @ muserevival

Ian was absolutely fucking furious at his sister. He was so fucking sick of the only interaction with her was being told to take his meds or hurry the fuck up. He didn’t need his family. For the briefest of moments, he had a family of his own, and now it was all gone.

Being constantly hounded about his medication was only the slightest of steps up from being constantly compared to his nutcase, drug addict mother. That all he was to anyone now. White noise on a backdrop of a mental illness label. That was never going to change.

• @ progress table

LINK: You seen one old codger dick, you seen them all. Shrink happens, may as well fucking get used to it.

Family Matters @ muserevival

Dear Mickey,

This week's been really fucking weird. Oh, who am I kidding, this whole year's been fucking weird... or maybe even my whole life. Can you really consider something weird if it's been your whole life, or does that just make it your normal?

It's kind of like everything's been rebooted. We're all back home, save for Carl who is still in juvie and either going to end up murdered or the HBIC. Fiona's back because she fucked up her marriage, even Lip's been staying here after the chick he was fucking went mental on him and thumped him. Frank's ingratiated himself back into shit because the cancer chick he was apparently chasing offed herself. It's like things have been switched right back to how they were before...

Before you and me.

Shame that doesn't mean I can just switch off all memories of you and be right back there somehow. Life's fucking cruel like that. Some people seem to get everything, and other people, like me, seem to constantly fuck it all up. I ran into Svetlana at the grocery store, but she didn't have Yev with her. Told me that you "Drive truck now" and "make shit money" that's "not enough to feed baby." Guess you really needed to get away. Can't say I blame you. That's not a feeling I can shake.

( I just don't know what family is supposed to mean anymore... )

#81 HOMESICK @ muserevival

It was the ass-crack of dawn when Ian realised you could be homesick for a person. There was this big gaping hole in his life without Mickey. He missed the content dynamic they filled. Maybe they never reached happiness, but they weren’t shooting for that either.

He had started to build his own life, and Mickey was his home. It was a strange feeling to know he was the one who called it all off, but every day since, he felt like he had made the biggest mistake of his life. He didn’t know what was supposed to come next.

• @ progress table

#48 PICTURE @ muserevival

Two weeks after their break-up, Ian kept Mickey’s picture on the lockscreen of his phone. It was a long two weeks, where each day felt like the hours kept repeating and never quite making it to the next day. Maybe because insomnia had plagued him and the hours he laid staring numbly at the dark ceiling were monotonous.

It took half hour to pluck up the courage to remove Mickey’s picture and replace it with a stock photo of a pink poodle. A fucking pink poodle replaced Mickey Milkovich. One day it would be fucking hilarious.

Today wasn’t that day.

• @ progress table

#61 SILENCE @ muserevival

Ian only realised how used to hearing his phone ring he was when it was left in complete silence. There were no calls every hour, on the hour, from Mickey trying to get hold of him. Even if he’d been in that constant stage of doubt and confusion since Mickey didn’t turn up to pick him up from the psych hospital, that phone ringing had been a reminder that Mickey was still there. Somewhere.

It didn’t ring. There would be no call anymore that illuminated the screen with Mickey’s picture. It was over, and right now, it felt very final.

• @ progress table

LINK: Why can't horny be a side effect of lithium?

#29 SOLITUDE @ muserevival

Sometimes Ian needed to be alone. He didn’t even always know exactly why. Those necessary minutes where he didn’t have to think and he could quiet his mind down, reduce the pace of his thoughts.

Sitting on the back step, taking a drag from the cigarette tucked between two fingers, and then ashed it onto the grass. When Mickey came out, shoving the door open with his characteristic roughness, Ian smirked around the cigarette and then passed it over to his boyfriend when he sat beside him. Just because he sometimes needed solitude didn’t mean he wouldn’t soon welcome company.

• @ progress table